#RIPAlanRickman and Suffering Writer’s Depression

Today is a pretty shitty day.

We lost the Sheriff of Nottingham, Hans Gruber, Professor Snape.

We’ve lost an icon in global cinema and stage performers.

We lost the man with the amazing voice that you didn’t even have to see to know who it was.




I am heartbroken. Seriously. And it just happens to come right on the tail end of finishing Scarred, Book 2 of the Lost Series.

And why is that bad? Yesterday I was over the moon. Totally excited that I had penned my second series novel in less than a month, and loved my characters. Today I realized I couldn’t write their story anymore. I can edit, fix sections, tie things up after proof-reading, and so many other things. But the act of writing their story is done. I’ve seen them go from point A to Z and make every stop in between.

I’ve seen them fight and fall in love in the darkest of ways, despite what they shared being so fucked up. And I realized that I lost three people today….Alan, River, and Ethan. I can remember them fondly. Watch his movies, read their story over again, and live those moments of great happiness and sadness. Because they are now in my world of fantasy.

But he is still gone when I turn the movie off, and I won’t see him in something new and smile when his voice makes me quiver. I won’t get to see a new way Ethan makes River scream, and I will never have to envy River because she got a man to die for. The story is over, done, complete.

Books send us through so many emotions. As does life.

Right now, we are low, after losing David Bowie, my Goblin King, earlier this week. I can pick up another story, write another tale, but I’ll always mourn them.

Writers love their books like children, and actors are the faces of our characters. Is it only fitting they go hand in hand, and we are just as hurt to see them go?

“After all this time?”

And I say, “Always.”


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